Gotta Friend ‘Em All

Starting off in a new city is tricky. You’ve got to figure out where everything is, how to get around and where the closest supermarket is. Now, that’s all well and good, until you add to that the delightful experience of having to befriend new people. Please note, I type that with some slight sarcasm. Ok, so, yeah, meeting new people is pretty cool and pretty essential in university, but getting to the friendship stage, (for me) is my personal social hell.

The university setting doesn’t help in the slightest either. I mean, it’s not like high school, where you walk through the same halls all the time, and see the same faces over and over again (excluding the new year 7s and the graduating seniors). In high school, you are more likely to see familiar faces staring blankly down the halls, than you are going to see a familiar face on a university campus. I can’t statistically back that up, but it certainly is a viable hypothesis, that I’m sure most of you uni students would agree with. Why? Several reasons:

  1. Have you seen the size of some uni campuses? Buildings scattered like glitter everywhere, I’m telling you.
  2. SO. MANY. PEOPLE. It’s kind of insane how many people subject themselves to a tertiary education. And don’t even get me started on the variety of courses they do. (I should know, my course is an odd-one-out.)
  3. Flexible schedules. Some people want to get their studying out of the way quickly, so they have the weekends off. Others want to spread out their time, so they have time to do stuff in between. The chance of you having the exact same schedule in uni is about slim to none by my reckoning.

As you can see, finding friendship amongst all of that can be daunting. Correction: IT IS DAUNTING. For one thing, how will you even know you’ll see that person again in the next week? Is it going to be a one off ‘hey-how-are-you-my-name-is’? Or is it going to be an ‘I-don’t-have-a-group-for-this-activity-can-I-join-yours’? It’s tough. I’d say it’s harder than the uni work (that being said, I’m only in the early weeks).

I must admit, though; my friend-making skills and ability to strike up conversation with strangers, are pretty odd/weird/bad. If I was in a Pokémon battle to find friends, it would go a little something like this…

*game noises*

A wild Human appeared!

Y.L. used Greeting!

Human used Greeting Response!

Y.L. learned Human’s name!

Human learned Y.L.’s name! Human is Confused!

Y.L. used Small Talk!

Human used Standard Responses! It was super effective!

Y.L. used Befriend! It doesn’t have an effect on the wild Human…

Human used Awkward Silence! It was super effective!

Y.L. used Witty Comment! Witty Comment failed! Y.L.’s confidence levels decreased!

Human’s Awkward Silence increased!

Y.L. used Befriend!  It’s not very effective… Y.L.’s confidence levels decreased!

Human got away!

Y.L. lost some more of her confidence and all her HP.

Doesn’t sound very fun, does it? Even with the Pokémon battle effects. (Needless to say, I am a Pokémon nerd. Just for future reference.) I once had to take a whole ten seconds of self-talk to ask what these two girls sitting at my table were studying, and we were basically the only strangers in the room. The most annoying part is: of course I want to have a friend! But I want one that’s pre-made, i.e. I have history with. I want a friend that you can talk about random stuff to, not just small talk. Small talk is nice and all, but I want to spontaneously ask them some random question (like, “If you could watch any movie right now, what would it be?”) and not have them look at me weirdly. Alas, social circles spin too fast for me (‘Lady is a Tramp’ sung by Ella Fitzgerald); or rather, I move too fast for social conventions. I really need to develop my patience for this ‘friend-making’ business.

So, I’m not great at making friends. My main problem is, I don’t speak, unless people are willing to talk – and listen – to me. (You know, like having a normal conversation.) Jeez, how did I ever make friends in the first place??? (Trust me, I’m questioning it myself. Huge thank you to everyone who knows me for putting up with me for this long.) I wish I’d figure it out soon, though. I’m tired of just seeing random faces around me.

{Song of the Post: ‘Everybody’s Dancing and I Want to Die’ by Deaf Havana}

[P.s. I promise the above song is a real song, and not just a result of my lonely imagination. Check it out, it’s pretty cool.]

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